casually saving my father’s relationship via text.　

sedvides replied to your post: i started to write about how i only ever miss you…

Preach sistah!! Now we get drunk and be fucktards!

fuck yeah.

i started to write about how i only ever miss you at night, when i can’t sleep.

i wrote about how i drove you away, but you still broke my heart. i poured out all these sappy, heart-breaky feels. then i started re-writing. it turned into how empty i felt and how you never helped me. again i re-wrote.

i kept writing and re-writing sentences trying to convey my current emotions about you and i just couldn’t do it.

i love you and i miss you and all that crap.

but above all things i am so freaking mad at you. so all those cliche feels i was typing don’t matter, because they don’t compare to how absolutely fucking pissed off i am about how you treated me.

you never made me feel protected.

you never pushed me to my potential.

you never defended me.

you let your friends take advantage of me.

and you lied to me from the very start. the foundation of our relationship was built on lies. or maybe not. maybe you lied about lying. WHO FUCKING KNOWS.

i’m so fucking pissed that i let myself be treated like that for three years. it wasn’t a waste, and i really did love you with all of my heart, and i am so incredibly hurt that we aren’t still together. 

but my anger trumps all of that. you couldn’t even take care of yourself, why did i expect you to take care of me? you are immature, lazy, and have such a lack of ambition that i honestly believe you’d be completely content living at your parents house and working for free at your stupid gaming place for the rest of your life. 

i tried to get you to want more, because you are worth so much more than that. but you have to believe it too. and if you refuse to try, then i deserve someone better than you.

i’m so done feeling sad about this. i’m done thinking about if we’re supposed to be together forever or not, or what i could have done differently, or if everything was completely my fault. i’m done feeling all of these stupid and contradictory things. when it comes down to it, if this were to ever work out, i need you to be a fucking man and take charge of your life.

i know i probably sound like the biggest hypocrite right now, but i couldn’t care less. i need someone who makes me want to be a better person, not someone like you who lets me wallow in my emptiness. 

can someone go to work for me for the next four days? i just wanna sleep. 

“We spend the morning picking wildflowers in the field near the one-room schoolhouse. When the sun is high, we find a shade tree, spread out our Navajo blanket, and share a salad of organic arugula and some rosemary bread I baked. You wear a picture hat and a linen romper. I bring my banjo and play all your favorite Woody Guthrie songs. In the evening, we smoke hand-rolled cigarettes and drink whiskey from a jam jar. When the whiskey’s gone and we’ve smoked our last cigarette, we make love on the back porch with only the light of the fireflies to see each other by.”

-Justin Vernon on “what would be your perfect day?”

Read More